


Old Dreams

by hellskitchensmurdock



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Episode: s02e14 The Big Game, Episode: s02e15 Revelations, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Torture, Nightmares, Once again no one is really thriving in this fic, POV Penelope Garcia, POV Spencer Reid, POV Third Person, Penelope :(, Penelope Garcia-centric, Post-Episode: s12e17 In The Dark, TW:, Whump, at least garcia is getting some comfort from her main man, but thats kind of the usual for my fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellskitchensmurdock/pseuds/hellskitchensmurdock
Summary: Penelope dreams of Spencer. It makes her fear for his life.
Relationships: Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia & Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia & Spencer Reid
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	Old Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> hi i have another fic :D
> 
> ive been super interested in dreams lately, and wanted to write a fic including them and this idea came to me while i watched revelations for like the tenth time. i also decided to experiment with writing in the perspective of a different character, and I chose penelope so i hope she's not too ooc. i love both revelations and prison fics so this was fun to combine the two !!
> 
> trigger warning for: mentioned drug use, torture and kidnapping.
> 
> as always, i hope you enjoy !!

“I’ve been having this old dream again.”

Penelope is sitting on Derek’s couch. She hasn’t seen him in nearly a year, but after Emily found out what happened after she visited Spencer she gave her the weekend off. Emily always knew what she needed.

“I haven’t had it in years,” she continues. 

It’s two in the morning and she woke up gasping for breath, Derek crouching beside her bed and ready to bring her into a hug after hearing her calling out for Spencer. Now, they are sitting in the living room, Clooney brushing against their legs as she leans on his shoulder.

“What was it about?” he asks, wrapping his arm around her shoulders tighter in encouragement.

She’s reminded he never saw it; he only saw the aftermath.

“Georgia,” she says. She knows he wouldn’t need to be a profiler to realise she’s evading the answer, but instead of pushing her, he gently leads her.

“What happened in Georgia?”

_ JJ’s screams echo in his mind as Hankel has his gun trained on him. He wants nothing more to help his friend but he knows if he moves Hankel will shoot, if only out of fear. He’s clearly the subservient partner, and Spencer thinks he can reason with him. _

_ “Just relax, Mr Hankel, alright?” _

_ It’s here that Spencer finds out the last piece of the puzzle; there were never multiple unsubs. Only one with DID. He freezes, barely processing the argument happening in front of him. _

_ He’s frozen on his back, leaning on his elbows, his hands up in surrender. He’s powerless to help JJ. He’s powerless to stop Hankel from towering over him and bringing the butt of his Glock to his head. _

“Hankel took Spencer.”

She feels him tense. Those two days awake, alert, desperate, in Hankel’s house weren't fun for any of them. She still remembers the creeping fear that grew as she got to know Tobias and Charles through their accounts.

She felt she knew them, and she couldn’t imagine how Reid was dealing with them; they were right in front of him, forcing him through beatings and damning choices that Penelope knows he’s never stopped blaming himself for.

“What did Hankel do?” 

Tears form in her eyes as the fact he needs specificity because of how much he did. He beat him, he drugged him, he forced him to choose who lives and dies, he-

“You never saw it,” she takes a shaky breath. “I’m the only person alive who has seen it.”

“Saw what?” he was still being gentle, his voice as soft as ever. It still had a roughness to it, though. Penelope figures it's partially natural and partially because of the topic at hand. It’s as comforting as it’s always been.

“Gideon and Hankel are-”

She cuts herself off, and Derek hesitates before he speaks again. “Are you talking about Reid’s seizure?”

“Yes,” she nods, and the floodgates open. She’s started, and now the words and tears keep coming. “He’s seizing, and then he... stops just as he did. But then Gideon leaves and I’m stuck by myself. The room becomes a void and Hankel comes back on the video and-”

She clamps a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs to not awaken Savannah and Hank. Derek rubs her back and whispers comforting words into her ear that she isn’t listening too.

“Would you like some water?” Derek offers.

Penelope shakes her head. She knows if she doesn’t continue now she won’t ever tell him the full story. “Hankel comes back in and does CPR but… It just continues like that. For what feels like hours I’m forced to watch Hankel do CPR on Spence but he never wakes up, and Hankel never stops.”

She opens her mouth to continue but stops herself because tonight the dream was different. Except, the difference is something she can’t tell Derek.

_ “Garcia please,” Spencer pleads. “I don’t want Morgan to ever find out about this.” _

_ “Why not?” Penelope asks. _

_ Her brows are furrowed, her eyes filled with confusion and he wishes he still had her naivety. He takes a deep breath and looks away, keeping his tears at bay. When he looks back, he watches her heartbreak and he realises she knows his hope is slipping away. _

_ “What if he doesn’t believe me?” _

_ Penelope tries to convince him otherwise, but he doesn’t believe her. The end of visiting hours beat her, and the guards will beat him if he doesn’t follow them back to his cell, so as he stands up, he asks of her one thing. _

_ “Promise me.” _

_ She does. _

She promised. She promised not to tell Derek, not to go to the warden's office to demand protective custody. She keeps reminding herself that this is what Spencer wants, but that doesn’t stop his bruises settling in her memory.

“Is there anything else?”

She so badly wants to tell him the new part she dreamt tonight. She wants to tell him that suddenly it wasn’t Hankel performing CPR but nameless, faceless prisoners beating Spencer. Punching his head, and kicking his ribs. His eyes opened and bore into her soul. She screamed; she pleaded for them to stop.

But all she is met with is a hopelessness in Spencer’s eyes she’d never seen before, not even when he made her promise not to tell Derek.

“No,” she says instead, wiping the tears from her face.

They both know she’s lying, but Derek lets it slide and Penelope is grateful for that. He pulls her in for a hug, and she buries her head in his neck and thinks about the last hug she had with Spencer. His hands were cuffed and covered with an FBI jacket.

He couldn’t hug her back.

_ He has his back pressed against the stone wall. He doesn’t have a weapon but at least he’ll see them coming if he doesn’t sleep. He got an hour right after lights out, but he’s been awake since; the anxiety of an impending attack looming over him even in his unrelated nightmares. _

_ As he hears guards footsteps as he comes to check, he has to slide back down but it doesn’t matter; he perfected the art of faking sleep a long time ago. _

_ “You awake?” he hears Shaw whisper from the next cell over. _

_ “Yeah,” he answers. “I didn’t know you were.” _

_ “I wasn’t, I just woke up. Bad dream.” _

_ “About what?” Spencer asks because the silence is killing him. _

_ “Doesn’t matter. What about you?” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Dreams,” is all Shaw says. _

_ Spencer isn’t sure what he is asking, so he decides to answer more honestly than he’s learning it should be. “I haven’t had one in a long time.” _

_ “Just nightmares?” _

_ He’s right, but Spencer doesn’t tell him that. _

Derek pulls back and places his hands on her shoulders. His head is tilted, not even trying to hide the fact he’s profiling her. She may be a technical analyst, but over the years she has picked up enough to know that he’s searching for the right question to ask through her behaviour.

“Why are you having this dream again?”

She knows the answer. She knows it’s because Spencer’s in prison and she left him to rot in his cell because she had to. She knows it’s because she’s afraid he’s going to die again.

Derek tries again. “Is something going on with Reid?”

“No,” she says. It’s forceful, and she meets his eyes because, for Spencer’s sake, she has to sell this lie better than any other one in the past. She holds eye contact and stares through her tears. “I don’t know why I’m having the dream again.”

Derek keeps staring for a moment, before deciding he believes her. He squeezes her shoulder in comfort and announces that he’s going to get them both water, and while he’s in the kitchen, she allows her mask to crumple, but only for a moment. 

They drink in silence, and she asks him to stay with her until she gets to sleep again. Derek guides her head to his shoulder and stretches his legs to rest on the coffee table while Penelope curls up against her best friend.

She doesn’t go back to sleep. 

_ Neither does Spencer.  _

_ He’s laying down, curling against the thin mattress and pillow the way he used to curl against his mother when he was young. He can hear the guards footsteps and his heartbeat speeds up as a small part of his mind wonders if he’s going to get beaten again. _

_ He used to have a dream, one where his mother would stroke his hair and read him his favourite books. _

_ Spencer whispers to no one: “I wish I was having that old dream again.” _

**Author's Note:**

> hello again !! i hope you enjoyed that !!
> 
> if you did and you would like to check out more of my bs, the tumblr is @heathridgemanor. i usually yell about criminal minds over there, among other things such as prodigal son with a dash of britcom spams every so often. if any of that interests you, go check it out !!


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